One Month Update

On May 16th this year I had one of my worst days; mania, depression, anxiety and alcohol-fuelled self-loathing occurred. Unlike every other dark episode of my life, this one finally broke me and I accepted that I have problems that required outside help to fix. I stopped drinking, stopped smoking and paid a visit to my doctor where I was prescribed Sertraline (zoloft) and advised to see a therapist, then I committed to learning everything I could that might help me live a better life.

After one week of taking Sertraline I noticed a huge difference in my mood and my anxiety levels, unfortunately it didn't last; my moods have definitely stabilised but my anxiety is still proving a regular struggle. Anxiety isn't going to be fixed by pills or supplements, though I am taking a fair few, but I'm confident that regular C.B.T. (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) will eventually make things easier. I'm still supplementing DHA and have recently started increasing my daily magnesium intake because I stopped sleeping again; I have cut down on sugar and caffeine, as well as restricting carbs before bed to help me sleep.  (I hate not being able to sleep - it makes my anxiety worse and puts me in a very bad mood.)

Meditation has become one of my favourite ways to relax over this last week, even though every time I ever attempted it before I could never clear my head enough to feel the benefits. The best thing for me was finding the right music to meditate to and my go-to track right now is Patrick Bernham's Archangelis, which is beautiful; the music changes between peaceful and uplifting, plus the song is over 26 minutes long - a perfect amount of meditation time for me.

My diet has changed weekly over the last month because my tastes and my appetite are all over the place thanks to the Sertraline but I am working hard to eat the right foods, even if the portions aren't big enough right now. I am eating a lot of spinach and seeds for the magnesium; I'm also using epsom salts and a magnesium spray to ensure I get enough.

My biggest achievement has definitely been giving up smoking and restraining from alcohol when my mood gets low; I'm confident that after a whole month without drinking that my attitude  towards it has drastically changed. I can survive depression and have fun without alcohol - it is possible. I have done a lot of research into the effects of alcohol on the brain and found that one third of people with major depression also have an alcohol problem but it's only a temporary fix; long term substance abuse only damages the brain. Being sober helps you reconnect with the real you and gets you out of the trap of believing you need something outside of yourself to feel happy. I highly recommend going sober for at least a month to feel the benefits and change the way you think about drinking in general, I know that if I go out or have a special occasion I can have one or two drinks IF I want to but drinking to excess in an attempt to block out my problems is never going to work. Also, not drinking has made giving up smoking a lot easier because I always smoked a lot more while drinking.

Obviously it has only been a month and I expect things will only keep getting better if I stay optimistic and keep taking care of myself. Life isn't going to magically become perfect and stay that way - we all have to keep trying and work at being the best we can be.

"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward." - Victor Kiam