What I'm Taking
In the beginning I was researching a lot of supplements in the hope that I wouldn't have to rely on prescription medication for too long; I've never liked the idea of taking pills, probably because I never like to think of myself as being 'sick'. Acceptance of my anxiety and depression as an actual illness was a big step, I stopped taking supplements and decided to give the Sertraline a chance. I take 100mg daily, 50 in the morning and 50 at night, as well as a sublingual b12 supplement from Holland & Barrett (because I'm vegan, not for any medicinal purposes). I also stopped taking the contraceptive pill recently, after a decade of pumping fake hormones into my body I began to question what kind of negative effects those hormones could be having on my mind, after all, mood swings and PMS go hand in hand.
How I'm Living
As of January 12th 2016 I have been a fully-fledged vegan, eating primarily fruit and lot of rice, pasta and potatoes, really simplifying my diet to take the stress out of eating. It's working, slowly but surely, I am eating more regularly, as well as bigger portions, it still feels a little strange to be aiming for over 2,000 calories a day after a life-time of avoiding them but I am starting to enjoy food again, which is nice. I'm only working out every other day and it's usually just gentle cycling, I have tried to daily exercise but I need the day in between to rest; my body and mind are still healing.
What's Changed
The biggest change from last year is that I no longer live with my Mum, I have my own home, my own space and I'm not constantly surrounded by bad memories. I don't smoke anymore, I do have an e-cigarette for now, I very rarely drink alcohol or caffeine these days and I'm finally sleeping! I get between 8 and 10 hours a night of actual sleep - no twitching or getting up, no rolling around or waking every couple of hours; I can sleep like a normal person!
So, What's Next??
I've finally found myself in a place in my life where I'm ready to move forward, I'm not consumed by the need to 'fix' myself, nor do I consider my anxiety/depression as a handicap that will hold me back. I'm planning to work on a new blog (and update this one more regularly) where I plan on writing, and possibly illustrating a novel/comic/graphic novel, and posting weekly issues, which I am very excited about. I'm looking into courses on graphics and animation, possibly a degree in creative writing, who knows? I can do anything.
When I started blogging I honestly had no idea what I was trying to achieve, I never imagined it would become so therapeutic or that I would be able to open up about myself in such a public forum. I would like to say thank you to anyone reading this, or any of my posts for that matter, there's nothing like the feeling that comes with knowing that someone out there believes my words are worth reading.
